Mystery Makeout Theater 3000

This morning's Jemmett makeout punishment show was a rerun. Andrew was a little disappointed.

And then Andrew was a little horrified:

Mystifying

Stomach churning

Demonstrating Emmett's technique 

I give you highlights from the running commentary from Andrew and Talla, unattributed (you can guess at who said what):

"I really like that top."
"See what I mean about his hands?"
"I want all that food in storage."
"Fail."
"Look how he's- I don't even know how to look at this."
"Ew!"
"They make me want to vomit."
"Aww."
"She's trying to suck on his tongue! That's not aww!"
"Look at them."
"Oh, shut up."
"I love this one. That's my favorite one."
"When and what is she wearing?"
"Poor people behind the cameras."
"Imagine a compilation of Andrew and Talla farting and burping..."
"I want to punch him."
"Oh, this is such a failure."
"Look at this one. This one's horrible."
"My stomach just ate itself."
"I don't think I ever want to kiss another person in my life, because you look like an asshole."
"We're playing a game, and these guys are tonguing each other."
"Why are they blocking out the sound?"
"Because they are saying nothing of any value."
"I don't ever want to hang out with these people ever again."
"Yes, you're going to go out for lobster with them. And milk."
"Where me?"
"This is important."
"There you go."
"Okay, saw me twice. I look good!"
"Always."
"Not always."
"Big Brother, tomorrow can we have a new one of Talla and Andrew farting?"
"I think it's adorable."
"I think I hate them. Both. Very much."
"That's it?"
"Luckily, there's nothing in my stomach, or I would go throw it up."
"Fail."

Anybody remember the early speculation that Andrew and Jillian were cast to be a showmance? I bet Andrew does.

Worst Punishment Ever

Andrew: "THIS IS DISGUSTING."

As part of this week's Have Not punishment, Andrew and Talla are required to wake up an hour early every morning and watch a ten minute compilation video of Jillian and Emmett making out.

I have to tip my hat to the Big Brother Canada production team. This may be the worst punishment ever.

Andrew: "He's got the wandering hands!" Talla: "He does."

I was up in time for the first session this morning. 

Andrew: "What are you doing?" Talla: "Hands off..." Andrew: "YOUR HANDS ARE BELOW THE EQUATOR."

Andrew and Talla were not quiet about their reaction, and managed to wake up both Jillian and Emmett, who stumbled out to investigate, even as Andrew yelled at him: "You do not want to watch this!"

Emmett, a little too interested in the footage

It's also interesting timing, given that Andrew and Talla should really be spending time this week thinking about just how close Emmett and Jillian are. Will it have any impact on their gameplay?

It might not matter - after last night's promising developments, Jillian and Emmett flipped back to putting up Peter and Andrew, after dumbass Peter pointed out that Emmett could end up on the block if Andrew won POV and saved Talla (um, yes). Granted, Peter is probably just covering his ass, but he's limiting his options.

Confidential to Alec

Dear Emperor of Doom,

You've been listening to me the last few days, it seems.

Dr. Won't

I said that I wanted you to come to your senses and recognize your mistakes with Topaz, and boy, you listened, creating maybe the best tragedy Big Brother has seen in years. Shakespeare couldn't have crafted it any better himself. This villain redemption arc should play out quite memorably on Canadian cable TV, and bravo to you for it.


So, it's done, and your time playing the game of your life is winding to a close. You've lost. You're going to hang out with Gary and AJ in a ski lodge somewhere for a few weeks before coming back to cast a final vote and try to figure out a way to party with the US reality stars in Vegas next summer, which seems to be one of your primary motivations for doing the show. (You should totally hit our New York City BB15 Premier Party in June, by the way, but we can discuss that later. Moving on.)

What do you do next?

There's one major thing Alec needs to do in order to preserve a Big Brother legacy for himself, and it's the one thing that hasn't occurred to him yet.

He needs to sit Peter and Topaz's asses down stat, and make them realize that if they can't crack the Team Nova Scotia/Buck Chargers/whatever alliance (Buck Chargers is TNS + Talla), they've got to trust each other and work together 100%.

Peter and Topaz are both poised to lose Alec as their key ally, and this is simply not a good time to be playing solo in the game. Peter needs Topaz's fire and aggression, and Topaz needs... well, she needs a warm body to align with, and Peter is that, at least. If it takes a mutual desire to avenge Alec in order to unite them, fine, but if they continue to be distant, their games are over and they'll be hanging with him pretty soon.

+

-

=

Well, maybe. It'd still take a good HOH/POV run, but that's always going to be easier with two people than with one.

Alec's gameplay is the perfect illustration of why strategic alliances matter more than alliances with people you actually like. Hell, it's perfect if they can't stand each other, all the better - just as long as they stay loyal. The fact that they've barely spoken the entire game means that if they can keep it quiet, no one will see them coming until it's too late, as obvious a pair as they are.

Alec's best move at this point is to quietly accept his fate and work to see that his loyal allies are established in the game before he scoots out the door on Thursday. If so, he might actually have someone worth voting for in the finals. If not, well, they'll have a fun April together in the Jury House.

Big Brother Around the Web: Dysfunction Junction

"I know how I feel about you, and it took me too long to realize that. And that sucks." 

-Alec to Topaz, on why he doesn't want to campaign against her.

Well. So, that's where he seems to be.

On that note, I've got another classic from the Survivor Sucks thread this afternoon, from ohboy:

"i never imagined a bb relationship could be more dysfunctional than bbuk's aaron and faye, but alec and topaz have done it."

Yes! - Dysfunctional Aaron and Faye

It's so true. Welcome to the Dysfunction Junction club, Alec and Topaz. 

I doubt they'll still be living together a year and a half later like Aaron and Faye, but it is starting to look like Alec and Topaz may have something that continues at least into the Jury House, which is more than I would have expected from them a week ago. 

We'll just ignore for the moment the irony that all of this comes from Topaz finally realizing that she had to play the crap out of Alec in order to get him to admit his real feelings. 

Or, maybe that just means that they're cut out for each other after all. 

By George, He's Got It: Alec and Topaz Come to Jesus

So literally minutes after I posted my thesis on why Alec was so bad at this game (which, I should note, I've been composing for the last handful of days), all of my subtext became text as Alec finally realized what was coming, after Topaz relayed her early morning conversation with Jillian and revealed that she and Alec will most likely face eviction together this Thursday.

He went on to have a lengthy and surprisingly candid "Come to Jesus" talk with Topaz, in which he laid out his original game plans pretty honestly, and even admitted to many of the negative things he's said about her, though he did play them down a bit.

The Agony of Defeat

And it was almost like he had read my blog. 

Alec has now realized that he should have been more loyal to Topaz and Gary, that his early alliances were crap (though he blames the others, not himself - good old Alec), and he gets he should have kept AJ over Andrew. 

The one thing he still doesn't get is just how solidly Andrew is against him, and that's why the slim chance he's hoping for is non-existent. 

Au revoir, Alec. 

Calling Him Out

Topaz proceeded to hit Alec one by one with her insecurities and all the rumors she's heard throughout the house, most of which are true. 

Alec went on the defensive at first, but slowly, gradually over the course of the conversation, more and more of the truth began to come out, until by the end, it finally seemed like they had no secrets left... for maybe the first time in the game.

Explaining the Obvious

At the same time, the nugget of change I'd sniffed out in this morning's blog suddenly blossomed into a giant, no-holds-barred heart to heart between Alec and Topaz about their relationship, and holy crap, I think there's something to what I said.

Topaz's strategy of winning Alec over by turning the other cheek has actually convinced him that she's more loyal than he originally thought, and for the first time in this entire game, it seems like he may be harboring some genuine feelings for her, even after all his adamant denials. 

Last Minute Showmance?

There's an outside chance that this is Alec's desperate attempt to secure Topaz's vote, as she was upstairs minutes before, insisting to Jillian that she would vote Alec out if required. Alec also thinks he has a chance of getting further in the game and still working with Topaz, because he thinks there's a chance of getting Talla up (there's not). Still, it was interesting to see that his first reaction on realizing he was in true danger was to have a (mostly) sincere heart to heart with Topaz.

"This game is for certain kinds of people, and I thought I was one of those people, but I'm not emotionally cut out for it." 

Alec now realizes how badly he's played the game. He's not giving up yet, but it's over.

I don't think he'll be one of these players who lives in denial, giving delusional interviews trying to justify their poor gameplay.

He gets it, there's no question he gets it, and he's found the humble in his stumble.

If only he'd found it three weeks earlier.

The Emperor of (His Own) Doom

With fellow nominee Peter winning this week's Power of Veto (seriously? Now you win a competition?) Alec's chances of surviving the week are not looking good at this point.

I cannot get enough of this cap series.

Alec started the game as a player with a lot of promise, which is why I've been paying attention to him - a self-professed student of the game, a Big Brother international superfan, a social psychology doctoral student, and a decent athlete to boot - so yeah, I had high expectations. 

Unfortunately, Alec has failed to realize them. He wanted to be Dr. Will, but Alec is more of a Dr. Won't.

The Shield Moms - can anyone spot which Mom is doing the sign wrong? (Hint: her son did not win the POV.)

He and Peter have been stars of the broadcast show and seem to be favorites of Production (I mean, their moms got a segment together?), but at this point, nothing short of a miracle is going to get him through to next weekend.

Trio

Alec has played an interesting game, but not a winning one. If I had to sum up Alec's game flaws, I would say that he's overconfident, he plays way too personally, and he doesn't understand how to campaign or secure alliances for the long haul.

Let's run through some of the specific mistakes he made along the way:

Why Alec Lost Big Brother Canada

1. He Turned on Quattro!

Yes, it was delicious to watch villains Tom and Liza go out back-to-back in a double eviction, especially after Tom douched it up about Showergate. But Alec was targeting Tom before that, simply because he didn't like him.

Now, I didn't particularly care for Tom either, so I get why Alec was eager to boot him with Liza. But Liza's manipulations were easily neutralized once people realized she was lying, and she and Tom were allies and huge shields for, well, the Shield.

Sending Tom out of the game too early raised Alec's target and cost him a chunk of his own side of the house.

It's hard to say if Tom would have left if Alec hadn't turned on him - he was Gary's target for the week long before the Shield got in his ear (but shhh, let them think they were running the show.) Still, if Alec had managed to save Tom for a few more weeks, he would have had a loyal ally to hide behind as he slipped deeper into the game.

2. He Annoyed Andrew!

Sealing his fate 

I've said before that this was one of his biggest mistakes. Up until this night, Alec and Andrew were forging some sort of cautious trust, but after Alec forced Head of Household on Andrew in the Double Eviction and went on to score $10,000 for it by winning the next Head of Household, Andrew has been counting the days until he could send Alec packing, while Alec remained oblivious.

Alec only realized this in the last few days, and missed his chance to solve this problem quite easily during Topaz's brief Head of Household reign.

Speaking of which...

3. He Sold Out Topaz and Gary!

On paper, running a Brigade strategy sounds great. In practice, it's not as easy as the original BG made it look.

This group really sucked at it. Tom and Emmett both fell prey to the classic Brigade pitfall of "actually caring about your side alliance more than the main alliance", and Alec's attempts to prevent the same just made him look shady and untrustworthy to the rest of the house.

And then there was the disastrous Fast Forward. For some reason, Alec decided that his weak alliance with Andrew meant more to him than his solid alliance with Topaz, and kept the dangerous Andrew over loose cannon AJ. Why? Well, apparently because he liked Andrew better than Topaz. That's the best I got.

Topaz knew right away just how badly he'd screwed up, but Alec, far too cocky about his game as usual, just couldn't see it:

No, Alec, you're not.

No, Alec, you don't.

Thank you, Topaz.

(If only.)

The short-lived Fourgy Alliance, when Peter and Alec faked a secret alliance with Gary and Topaz, was probably the one thing that could have positioned the Shield solidly in the game for a few weeks.

If they'd been sincere about it and tried to target others with more connections in the house, instead of house outsiders Gary and Topaz who could have been pulled into a firmer alliance with them, the Shield might not be looking at getting split this week.

4. He Quit POV!

"Would you get mad if I killed you?" (The Canadians keep quoting this wrong, by the way.)

We won't know until Wednesday's episode exactly what happened, but for some reason Alec decided to give up in yesterday's Power of Veto competition, allowing Peter to land his first competitive win.

(I still can't get over that.)

To The Victor

His one shot was either winning POV or having Topaz pull him off the block - Peter's victory seals Alec's fate once and for all.

So why would he do it? Did he think that Peter needed the save more than he did? Did he do one of his quick calculations and realize that he couldn't win? Did he think he could get Talla or Andrew on the block and get them out instead?

Whatever the reason, I have a feeling Alec will look back on that moment as the one that finally sealed his fate.

***

Ready for the taking

The kicker to all of this is that Alec did have the tools to get to the end of the game, if he'd realized that Topaz was his best potential ally after Peter. I genuinely want to smack the guy for not realizing this earlier. 

One of the most valuable things you can have in the Big Brother house is a loyal ally, yet he's been tossing his left and right for people he would rather get along with. 

Unfortunately for Alec, he'll be spending most of the jury phase in the Jury House, with the people he already tossed.

***

Too late

One of two weird things is happening in the last few days with Alec and Topaz, by the way. 

He's looking at her longer, he's not recoiling from her kisses anymore, and he seems just as affectionate in private as in public. Either he's gotten much better at faking it with her - which is a distinct possibility - or she's finally broken through to him with her sweetly protective "turning the other cheek" act, and he's starting to fall for her a bit. 

My inner romantic would be satisfied if it's the latter - if Alec finally realizes how much he's screwed up with her, right as he loses the game. 

Unfortunately, because this is Alec, he's probably just getting better at faking it. 

Alec and Topaz: Back Together Again (Seriously)

So for much of this afternoon and evening, most of the Big Brother fan boards have been going sort of like this:

AAAAHHHHHHH!

And you know, deep down inside, Alec's got to be going sort of like this:

AAAAHHHHHHH!

Why is that? Because even after this mess, this mess, and this mess, he's all of a sudden back to this:

AAAAHHHHHH!

That sound you just heard was the internet coming to a screeching halt. Well, at least the Big Brother fan sites.

Nice and pretty, so the cameras can see.

What is going on here? Is it strategy? Has he had a real change of heart? Has he realized that she's a guaranteed jury vote? Has he come to the conclusion that voting out AJ over her objections might have sunk his game? (Probably yes to all of these.) It's doubtful that he's feeling any more sincere emotion than he felt last week - but it's really hard to tell with this boy of late.

I just... no words.

In other news, Alec would like you all to start referring to him as "the Emperor of Doom". 

I'm not kidding.

I am pretty sure he's lost his mind in that house. It happens.

#BBCAN Fight Night (Again)

Pretty much every fight in the Big Brother Canada house so far has come from Topaz - such a shame her time in the game seems to be winding down.

I have no idea where Topaz and Alec stand right now - are they in a relationship and faking it, or are they faking that they're faking a relationship? etc. etc.

As far as the house is concerned, they're broken up, which is why Talla has suddenly decided to flirt it up around Alec, which has not troubled him in the least. She crawled into bed with him last night feigning fear from their evening movie screening. After some consultation with Gary, Topaz decided to go awf.

Alec Pondering a Second Showmance

The full audio of the argument is here, thanks to Ash:



She also caught some of the video, here:



Aaaaaaaand, there was some making up later (no kissing - down, fools):



Gary and Topaz also stayed up late talking, with him urging her to try to reconnect with Alec. No one is sure what he's doing - is he trying to save himself at her expense? Is he really that much of a romantic?

Topaz and Gary are also going to try to work to get Emmett backdoored today, which is going to completely backfire on them, because Andrew is now solidly with Team Nova Scotia (Emmett/Jill/Andrew) and they're running the house.

Team Nova Scotia: Boring Their Way to Finals 

Topaz also crawled into Alec's bed late last night to talk, but it seems like she got rejected. There may be some Alec-Topaz talk today, and we might be able to get a clearer idea of where they actually stand. I'm extremely skeptical of them "faking" all of this at this point - it's o-vah, the only question is, can either one of them manage to salvage their game from the ashes.

Ugh. There's a lot of season left to play, but I'm not enjoying this post-blackout power dynamic. We're now poised to lose all of the season's major characters in the next few evictions, while some of the least interesting people in the house are gearing up to run the place to the end.

The only way I can see this season staying interesting is if Alec wakes up to the fact that his game is swirling around the toilet right now, and that he has to forge a genuine strategic alliance with Topaz if he wants to have a prayer of avoiding the Jury House. Unfortunately, that's just not going to happen.

Big Brother Around the Web: Peter the Hyena

Still confused about the Big Brother Canada alliance drama? Poster onthefencewithrach at Digital Spy has an amazing summary of where things stand and why. Check out the fifth post down in this thread.

For a bonus, scroll down two more posts for the same poster's very apt metaphor comparing Peter to a hyena, given how he's hovering around the kill and waiting for the scraps.

Hyena, or Peter?

Peter, or Hyena?

Oh wow. I can totally see it, actually. 

Big Brother Around the Web

Before dissolving into an argument about the PC terminology for black Canadians(*), the Survivor Sucks thread had some interesting posts overnight. I recommend starting with this page and maybe skipping the couple after it.

The enigma continues

Among the talking points that raised my eyebrows:

-Alec feels emasculated by Topaz and both loves and hates her
-Topaz is both the reason why Alec ditched Tom, and a proxy for his inner geek issues
-Topaz is a new kind of showmance, not doing whatever the man says
-Alec is jealous of Emmett and his subservient showmance
-Alec should have showmanced Talla, and AJ is in love with Topaz
-Topaz + Alec = Sophie + Kris (BBUK)

Based on what we've heard about the Diary Rooms ("Please stop talking about Production!" -Polite Canadian Big Brother), I expect the cracks in the showmance to be featured for the first time probably on tonight's episode. Hello, iPodgate! Very curious to see what both Alec and Topaz are telling the Diary Room, compared to what they're telling their friends in the house.

It did seem like Alec was flipping back to protecting Topaz again in some of his conversations with the boys last night, as if he's still giving off the impression he's willing to cut her, while actually encouraging the others to keep her around longer.

Does that mean he's over his butthurt about the iPod? Or is he coming off slop brain and back to his strategic senses, realizing that he should be trusting Topaz much more than Andrew or Emmett at this point? It just makes no sense to want to cut the girl who's honest to a fault with you, over the guys who are clearly holding back information and are also far more likely to beat you in the end.

(*)I'm not an expert on this myself, but I was surprised when I heard people in the house referring to Topaz as African-American, which I guess isn't wrong, but "black" seems to cover it, too.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass, or, the Houseguests Get Drunk

The Alec and Topaz drama continued into the wee hours of the night last night, as the booze continued to flow. I had to miss it due to the need to sleep, but luckily for you and me, intrepid Late Night Crew member Ash was there to document it all. (Are you following her on Twitter yet?)

But, Topaz... my feelings.

I'll just leave her descriptions here.

"First Alec and Topaz tiff about the ipod situation:"



"Then Alec talks to Gary about Topaz and about having his ipod taken away because of her. "



"Then after Topaz got drunk they decided to make up..which is basically a bunch of humping and kissing."



Over at Survivor Sucks, methuselah has an interesting observation about this whole soap opera:

In other news, apparently Andrew got very drunk and very creepy late last night, perving up not only on Topaz and Talla, but on Gary. Yes, Gary. The Jokers Updates discussion board erupted:

Stay tuned: none of these people are being evicted this week and we might have an incredibly awkward Double Head of Household twist next week, so the fun is just getting started.

Alec and Topaz: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Speaking of erupting...

It seems that whatever was pissing off Gary tonight had something to do with a spat between Alec and Topaz over the iPod in the Head of Household room. Somehow, Big Brother confiscated the iPod and Topaz got the blame.

A short time ago, Alec retreated to the bedroom to vent to the rest of the remaining Quattro members.

The truth comes out

"I've disliked her for a little while. I've known she wasn't my cup of tea for a little while." -Alec, to Peter and Emmett

Alec and Topaz are officially over each other at this point. Alec told Emmett and Peter that he's planning to fake it another week, but he wants her gone. 

Wasn't this supposed to be the "boring" week on the feeds? 

Alec and Topaz: Who Plays the Players?

Overnight at Jokers Updates, posters were speculating about Alec's BBUK fandom and a report that he called Big Brother UK Season 12 one of his favorites. (I didn't hear that, but did catch him discussing Faye's secret task last week.) The reason why this is significant is that BBUK 12 winner Aaron was notorious for playing a blistering mindfuck of a game, confounding production and viewers alike for weeks*.

*For the record, in the end, Aaron was not playing the girl, he and Faye are still together a year and a half later, thank you very much.

Alec seems to be heading down that road to an extent, confusing viewers about his intentions, especially with Topaz.

His physical attraction to her seems legit - I've heard him cite BBUK's Noirin as being one of his Big Brother crushes, so it's not surprising that he cuddled up to Topaz on the first night. But what about after that? You can't exactly break up with your showmance in the Big Brother house - even if you want to.

Then there was Showergate, an incident that I thought was rather Aaron-like back when it happened. I still do think that Alec's overreaction was genuine (as were most of Aaron's), especially after hearing Aneal and Kat discussing it on a recent podcast. Aneal pointed out, and Kat agreed, that the corner where Alec went to "hide" during his Diary Room session is the natural place in that room to go to avoid the camera. The breakdown was probably legitimate.

But many skeptical viewers have pointed to Alec's own master's thesis, defended just last year. In the thesis, Alec explores the sexual attractiveness of a variety of emotions, most notably shame, and finds that with certain situations, male displays of shame can be sexually appealing.  That finding is not consistent, though - and Alec's hyper-awareness of the physical presentation of shame could have actually been what caused him to overreact and lose his cool in the situation. (That, and the slop.)

Hot or not? Alec's actual research

Alec has admitted that his social psychology scholarship was inspired by Dr. Will Kirby and his love of Big Brother. So, it opens up the question - just how far will Alec go to manipulate in the Big Brother game? 

We know he's playing Topaz, but Topaz suspects it, too. She's called him out for withholding personal information and doubted him in her private conversations with Gary. She knows she goes farther with Alec than without, so at this point, she's putting up with him as much as he's putting up with her. She seems casually attracted to him, but also annoyed by his cautious personality and reluctance to consult her on game decisions.

There's one big difference between how Alec privately discusses Topaz and how Topaz privately discusses Alec, however.

Topaz at least sees the value in keeping Alec in the game as long as possible, and is looking out for his interests. When he won Head of Household, she cautioned him to use his power to make deals with people rather than automatically guaranteeing them safety, but he brushed her off and privately told Peter that she was getting too big for her britches.

Alec openly has no qualms about cutting Topaz, even next week if it comes down to it. This wouldn't be a bad strategy if he wanted to throw suspicion away from their showmance, but he seems quite serious about it. He's much more open in his game talk with Peter and even with Andrew and Emmett at times than he is with Topaz.

The fact that Topaz is becoming a fan favorite in her own right is also hurting Alec's public popularity right now - he's plummeting in the Joker's ratings poll, and could be in danger if there's a fan vote that puts him at risk.

As a viewer, I find the Alec-Topaz dynamic fascinating. Showmances that lack tension are boring, and players that jump in the sack right away and refuse to come out until their eviction tend to clog up the feeds. Showmances are entertaining when there's tension, though. Usually that means some kind of sexual tension, as relationships build over time. Alec and Topaz are something different, something we haven't seen before.

This isn't the first strategic showmance - that prize goes to Chilltown, who invented the strategy (and claim they invented the word 'showmance'). What Alec is doing is also not at the level of a Mike Boogie/Erika game, to his credit. Topaz is sharper than the average showmance, and Alec hasn't exactly been subtle about the fact that she's not his number one. She's appropriately suspicious of his intentions, and Alec is at least respectful of her.

They just don't seem like a compatible couple outside of the game, and both seem to be consciously aware of that. So, what do you do?

The unfortunate part of all of this is that both Topaz and Alec are astute gamers, whose skills complement each other's deficits. Alec has the cool head that Topaz lacks, Topaz has the heightened perception that Alec lacks, and the two of them could really control the entire house... if they tried.

The only way that can happen now is if Peter and Gary leave before Alec and Topaz and force them to work together. It's not out of the question, but it's looking less and less likely every day.