10 Things We're Not Talking About Re: The #BBCAN Finale

And one we maybe are.

1. The Side Show art for Part Two of the HOH competition:

She's Alive!

Long live that bottom caption.

Kind of amazing, no? There was also some weirdness with the shower curtain art on Part One, but it made no sense, so I won't bother capping it.

2. Gary's face on winning Part Two:

Hallelujah

I can hear the bells.

3. How in the final HOH round, Emmett kept waiting for Gary to answer before locking in his. Until it came down to the final question, I was ready to call shenanigans.

Hmmm

Not sure why Emmett waited so long on every round if he wasn't cheating. Maybe he was cheating, but then honestly thought he would beat Gary on that last question.

(Emmett, cheat? Never.)

4. Gary evicted Emmett.

You guys, Gary fucking evicted Emmett!

"Watch oot for the gay guy"

I can still hear the bells.

5. Alec and Gary both tearing up at Gary's answer to Alec's question:

Alec should have brought his sleep mask to the finale

6. Peter not having it with Jillian's answer to his question:

Watch check

Jillian? All he wanted was for you to own your game. Fail.

7. The final death throes of The Sheyld (sic):

1 of 2

2 of 2

Can't help it, those two guys still crack me up, even for all their failures. I'll stay a fan. Peter's got a different Twitter now than the one we all expected, by the way. Seems pretty verified, he was tweeting about being in the party van right before other official accounts started talking about the van. Then again, I already got taken in by a fake Gary account today when his mother retweeted it. So, take it all with a grain of salt for now.

8. Topaz's hilarious hissy fit over the vote reveal:

Someone call the ophthalmologist!

Also, did anyone notice who was onscreen half the time during that sequence?

Check the lower left corner - hi, Dan!

9. The internet's meltdown upon the vote reveal:

Jokerized

 10. But of course, what we're all talking about today, and will be for years, is:

Topaz'd

 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, in a nutshell, as tragic as it is, I think it's hilarious. Did Gary deserve to win? Absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, yes. Many have said that it "wasn't fair" for Gary to return at the Final Five, but Big Brother returns players all the time, and they almost always bounce out within a week or two, as soon as they can. The fact that Gary didn't is a huge testament to his game - making the right alliances, winning the final competitions, gaining the right trust and backstabbing just when he needed to.

And that's ignoring the fact that, as Alec has pointed out multiple times, Big Brother Canada has had a Big Brother UK influence from the start. Being a big character and beloved by the audience was going to be a part of the game, and all players should have understood that from the Suzette Power Shift onward. That was a part of the game Gary played brilliantly.

That said, is it the end of the world that Gary lost? Of course not. He'll do fine with the $20K he won, it gives him a sympathetic story to propel his public career, and really puts his "the money doesn't matter" talking point to the test.

I'm sure there was a moment inside where he wanted to do this:

But he didn't, at least not on camera. Instead, we got Beauty Pageant Runner-Up Face:

Mature, gamer Gary is taking the reigns, and immature, selfish Gary is going to have to take a backseat. Totally for the best, and now he's a shoo-in for Big Brother Canada All-Stars in a few years.

And Jillian can take her $100K and her milkman and get off our screens at last. Was she a good player? She was all right. I don't blame Alec and Peter for the "bitter jury" stuff - it seems like their contention, which is worth pointing out, was that Jillian was unnecessarily nasty, making deals she didn't need to make, breaking them when she didn't have to break them, and then refusing to admit what she'd done. If she'd been willing to admit it in the jury questioning, Peter might not have rolled his eyes and checked the time, but he clearly knew she wouldn't.

Jillian is a good player in the Rachel Reilly "Most HOH wins" kind of Big Brother game, but without Emmett, she wouldn't have gotten to the end, and without a disaster of a vote, she wouldn't have won.

Still, she won fair and square a little crooked, it's hard to dispute that.

So congrats, Jillian, for what it's worth. Ultimately, your strategy of sticking with Emmett turned out to be the thing that got you to the end.

I'd say drinks are on you for that first real-world date.

Exeunt

Big Brother Around the Web: #BBCAN Dance Remix

If you're still lingering around waiting for something to happen before the finale, here's a couple minutes to keep you entertained, courtesy of the Slice.ca editing team:


BBCan Remix by f100003092719386

Slurpy Derp

Feeds came back to a familiar sight tonight:

Emmett and Jillian making out in the Head of Household room.

Barf

This after a fairly interesting live show. We finally got some jury house footage.

Derp

Alec is apparently still spending his time in jury house spouting out utter nonsense in between getting laid (whoops - well, you go get yours, Topaz, girl.)

With a Y! Spell it with a Y!

And he also had another typical Alec goof moment that positively slayed me: when he spotted someone making the Shield sign in the audience and leapt into the air, giddy, squealing that someone didn't hate him. 

Correct

He also uncharacteristically got something right for a change, correctly identifying Gary as the returnee as soon as Arisa announced the twist.

Interestingly, the vote wasn't all that far off between Alec and Gary, and if Peter hadn't lost momentum towards the end of the voting week, I suspect the results could have been quite different:

Meanwhile, Andrew is currently on the live feed saying exactly what occurred to me a few minutes before: 

This week is shaping up to be a virtual repeat of last week, with Emmett and Jillian in unbreakable power, and Gary substituted for Peter. The open question, and this is what will be interesting to see: Can Gary manage to do what Peter couldn't? It would be amazing if he can pull off the power move Peter dropped, and maneuver Emmett into evicting Jillian against his will.

Gary is a wild card this week, and as he's only briefly been seen on feeds since his return, it's too early to say which direction his game will go. 

What will he bring from the jury house into the game? Does he have any hope of regaining momentum at this point? 

At this point that's going to be about the only thing fresh about this week. 

Confidential to Peter

Peter finally realized tonight what most of us realized days ago: his game is over, and his goose is cooked.

In a fitting tribute to Ian Terry, he launched into a lengthy monologue on the hammock that was at times astonishing, sad, bittersweet, and freaking depressing.

I'm a little worried for how he's going to fare once he realized that his game was heavily critiqued on the internet, given how much personal stake he seems to put in it, and how high he seems to have valued it himself. It seems like, based on both his Diary Room comments tonight and the hammock monologue, that he's not entirely happy with the current state of his real life, and was counting on success in Big Brother to redeem himself.

Peter:



And you is funny, not that comedy is an easy career, but there's a reason you won the heart of not one but two mooses.

And you should base your self-worth on something more than Big Brother. Seriously. You had a nice spring as the innocuous star/narrator of a relatively popular Canadian TV series, but there's more to life, and it's time to do what others have done before you: enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame, and use it to figure out where you're going next, rather than let it bring you down and spend the next years dwelling on it.

Cause right now, you're sad about the fact that you've come in fifth place on a second reality show, but that's not even true, because you're actually sixth (behind Gary, most likely).

So chin up, pull up those bootstraps, look in the mirror, and remind yourself that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how much money you can pull in off your Youtube channel now.

And if all else fails, there's still a moose somewhere that loves you.

Petering Out

So it's come to this. 

Peter's cheese stands alone against an alliance of four, and the only thing standing between Slice TV and Nova Scotia domination is a public vote. (You can also tweet #bbcanbringbackalec to be counted, FYI, just saying.)

The feeds spent a long, sad few minutes focused on Peter alone in the kitchen last night, thinking. His eyes were flicking back and forth the whole time - clearly there was a great deal racing through his head.

He has to know he's at risk this week - he may not be nominated straight out, but if he doesn't win Veto tomorrow, he's gone, whether or not Alec gets voted back in.

So why didn't he pull Topaz down?

It seems like there was some kind of exchange with Emmett during the commercial break - we'll probably learn more on Sunday night's episode. Regardless Peter apparently was inclined to use the veto on Topaz, but because of whatever confrontation happened with Emmett, he changed his mind. That was why he looked so shaken when the commercials ended and the veto ceremony started.

Peter followed this unusual melancholy with a little Alec-like mugging for the cameras, and today he seems to be as social as he ever is. He's also a Have for the week, which is good if you're rooting for him going into tomorrow's all-important Power of Veto competition (as you should be, if you want an interesting end to this season.) 

The question is, can he pull out a third Veto win in a row, or will he go down to the comp-beast skills of Emmett, Jillian and Andrew?

In other news, Alec got on the Big Brother Canada Twitter account today and confirmed that he and Peter are officially spelling the name of their alliance "The Sheyld". Um... uh... you should still vote him back anyway, just because. 

Vote Alec

 Now.

This is not a joke.

There are plenty of reasons why Alec Beall doesn't deserve to be voted back in to Big Brother Canada. 

I'll be the first to nod my head in vehement agreement that he's played a god-awful game, which has only gotten worse in his last few days. 

He gave Peter possibly the worst advice in the history of the Big Brother game. 

He was a douche to Topaz (he can plead insecurity all he wants, but at a certain point you gotta man up, Alec.)  

Also, with Topaz out and Peter up against a four person alliance, Alec will have a tough road digging himself out of the hole he churned up this week.

The Emperor of (His Own) Doom

Some of those are also among some of the best reasons to vote him back in, though. Let's run through a few of them:

1. It will make amazing TV.

Alec and Peter's downfall was gloriously horrible to watch, and their resurrection will be just as incredible. Alec's ego will be on full fire, fanning the flames of Peter's insane Diary Rooms, and they'll send the season out with a bang.

Will they play any better? Doubtful, but at least they'll have fun playing.

Say what you will about these guys - and there's plenty to criticize - but they love the game and they play hard, and that will never not be entertaining.

The Shield Sheyld (sic, RIP)

2. He still won't win, but it will make the end of the season a contest.

Right now, due to The Shield's pure stupidity, Peter's cheese stands alone against an alliance of four. He and Alec have no one to blame but themselves, yet we're the ones stuck with a boring-ass finale of Andrew and Jillian (that's what's happening, people.)

Dumping Alec back into the game will send Team Nova Scotia scrambling and upset the apple cart for the last couple of weeks. He'll stay a huge target, and probably be booted quickly, but at least we won't be stuck with a slow march to a boring finale.

And if by some remote, unlikely chance Alec does scrape out a win, maybe he deserves it for being entertaining enough to get back in.

Day Topaz, Night Topaz 

3. He's a goof. 

This is one of the reasons why I admittedly remain an Alec fan, even after he's completely screwed up his game and his showmance. This guy never forgets that he's on TV and, ergo, is supposed to dance for us.

He has no qualms about dressing like others for the live shows, and I read somewhere that he dressed as Survivor's Boston Rob for an entire day? (How'd I miss that?) 

His campaigning was probably one of the live feed highlights this year - as bad as it was, it was pure comedy at a point. 

His exit was a hoot as well - quoting Lost and Big Brother US Season 2, failing to hit on Arisa, and sadly identifying all of his mistakes, correctly. 

This has been a great season for comedy, and inching Alec into the finals would be one way to keep the laughter going. 

You know you're thinking about it

4.  He has a shot.

Now, Alec's popularity is not high. He's largely despised on some forums for his treatment of Topaz, and is viewed as a villain by many. 

But if America can vote Brendon back into the Big Brother 13 game over the hilariously fun Cassi and Dominic (who had the misfortune of splitting the votes of a shared fanbase), it's possible that Topaz and Gary's significantly larger fanbase will fall prey to the same problem. And we know AJ isn't exactly in the running, unless his friend Murtz can manage to - well, we know AJ isn't exactly in the running.

Alec will also have the benefit of a bounce from Peter's fanbase, as Brendon benefited from Jeff and Jordan's.

So I wouldn't count him out just yet.

5.  Wouldn't it be nice to see Jillian go from this:

Crushing bones

To this?:

Crushing fear

6. He asked for it!

Help a brother out, Chevy!

Who can say no to that face? (And what was he wearing?) C'mon Chevrolet, the ultimate punchline would be for Alec to actually get the ridiculous thing he asked for in his even more ridiculous eviction speech.

***

And why not Topaz? She did play a better game than Alec and had an outside chance of winning if she'd survived the Double Eviction.

Unfortunately, her failure to make a deal with Peter to get him to pull her off the block demonstrates that she doesn't have the alliance game to make it any further. (Yes, that one's on him too, but it's too late for either of them there.)

The Shield Is Broken

Right now, the only way to upset the apple cart is to get Peter a solid ally, and there's only one option for that: his bestie, his future roommate, his partner in the first alliance of Big Brother Canada: Alec Beall.

So: Canadians, Romans, countrymen, do your patriotic duty and vote Alec Beall back into the Big Brother Canada game! 

(Anyone interested in partnering on this as a "Vote for the Worst" thing, I'd enthusiastically endorse that, too - the ends justify the means, I think.) 

Popaz

Once again, Alec is taking some of my advice. 

Group hug

After a full and fruitless day of campaigning yesterday, he had an animated chat about Big Brother fandom last night with Topaz and Peter.

Debating crashing next year's open calls in disguise

There's been a weird dynamic between Peter and Topaz for awhile, and I think it boils down to a twinge of jealousy. Topaz has always known that Alec cares about Peter more than her, which Alec basically admitted last night in this conversation, describing Peter as the friend he'll keep after the show, and Topaz as the "sexual friend". 

Ouch. 

Peter has played into Alec's hints of dislike for Topaz all season, even as he's grudgingly accepted that Alec has to spend time with her at least for game purposes.

All of them know that the bromance beats the cuddlemance,  but it's still always been an unspoken bit of tension between the two of them.

Still hating everyone else

The Buck Chargers have been hard at work trying to drive a wedge between Peter and Topaz, with Topaz being pulled into a fake girls' alliance, and Emmett and Jillian trying to rope Peter in. That's why it was so interesting to see them end their day this way, laughing loudly together over their shared love of Big Brother. 

Granted, everyone in the house is being fairly nice to everyone else in spite of all the competing alliance dramas, but this moment stood out. If I had to guess, I'd say that both Peter and Topaz know, from the campaigning they were doing all day, that they're both on the outs and may have to team up when Alec leaves Thursday.

The one thing they haven't done yet is strategize and form a concrete alliance. I anticipate that happening before Alec's eviction, with him possibly negotiating along with them. Topaz isn't much for forming alliances, especially since all of hers have evaporated, so it may take Alec and Peter deputizing her as a Shield member - can you imagine? Actually, now that I've typed that, I really want it to happen.  

The only question is, will Peter and Topaz survive the Double Eviction? If neither of them can win a competition, it's doubtful. 

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

So after weeks of sitting back and narrating the game, The Shield finally sprang into action today, and we got to see their much-hyped, long-awaited game at work.

So, what's the verdict?

They...

Really...

Suck.

Sorry guys. There's always that future in comedy I mentioned awhile back.

Alec and Peter spent most of today throwing everything to the wall, and nothing stuck. The whole house is basically laughing at them.

Alec's chances are down to, well, Mundo Power, or bust.

Still, it's nice to see someone putting forth a good campaign effort this season. It may be comically bad, but at least it's made for some entertaining feeds in the process. 

The Emperor of (His Own) Doom

With fellow nominee Peter winning this week's Power of Veto (seriously? Now you win a competition?) Alec's chances of surviving the week are not looking good at this point.

I cannot get enough of this cap series.

Alec started the game as a player with a lot of promise, which is why I've been paying attention to him - a self-professed student of the game, a Big Brother international superfan, a social psychology doctoral student, and a decent athlete to boot - so yeah, I had high expectations. 

Unfortunately, Alec has failed to realize them. He wanted to be Dr. Will, but Alec is more of a Dr. Won't.

The Shield Moms - can anyone spot which Mom is doing the sign wrong? (Hint: her son did not win the POV.)

He and Peter have been stars of the broadcast show and seem to be favorites of Production (I mean, their moms got a segment together?), but at this point, nothing short of a miracle is going to get him through to next weekend.

Trio

Alec has played an interesting game, but not a winning one. If I had to sum up Alec's game flaws, I would say that he's overconfident, he plays way too personally, and he doesn't understand how to campaign or secure alliances for the long haul.

Let's run through some of the specific mistakes he made along the way:

Why Alec Lost Big Brother Canada

1. He Turned on Quattro!

Yes, it was delicious to watch villains Tom and Liza go out back-to-back in a double eviction, especially after Tom douched it up about Showergate. But Alec was targeting Tom before that, simply because he didn't like him.

Now, I didn't particularly care for Tom either, so I get why Alec was eager to boot him with Liza. But Liza's manipulations were easily neutralized once people realized she was lying, and she and Tom were allies and huge shields for, well, the Shield.

Sending Tom out of the game too early raised Alec's target and cost him a chunk of his own side of the house.

It's hard to say if Tom would have left if Alec hadn't turned on him - he was Gary's target for the week long before the Shield got in his ear (but shhh, let them think they were running the show.) Still, if Alec had managed to save Tom for a few more weeks, he would have had a loyal ally to hide behind as he slipped deeper into the game.

2. He Annoyed Andrew!

Sealing his fate 

I've said before that this was one of his biggest mistakes. Up until this night, Alec and Andrew were forging some sort of cautious trust, but after Alec forced Head of Household on Andrew in the Double Eviction and went on to score $10,000 for it by winning the next Head of Household, Andrew has been counting the days until he could send Alec packing, while Alec remained oblivious.

Alec only realized this in the last few days, and missed his chance to solve this problem quite easily during Topaz's brief Head of Household reign.

Speaking of which...

3. He Sold Out Topaz and Gary!

On paper, running a Brigade strategy sounds great. In practice, it's not as easy as the original BG made it look.

This group really sucked at it. Tom and Emmett both fell prey to the classic Brigade pitfall of "actually caring about your side alliance more than the main alliance", and Alec's attempts to prevent the same just made him look shady and untrustworthy to the rest of the house.

And then there was the disastrous Fast Forward. For some reason, Alec decided that his weak alliance with Andrew meant more to him than his solid alliance with Topaz, and kept the dangerous Andrew over loose cannon AJ. Why? Well, apparently because he liked Andrew better than Topaz. That's the best I got.

Topaz knew right away just how badly he'd screwed up, but Alec, far too cocky about his game as usual, just couldn't see it:

No, Alec, you're not.

No, Alec, you don't.

Thank you, Topaz.

(If only.)

The short-lived Fourgy Alliance, when Peter and Alec faked a secret alliance with Gary and Topaz, was probably the one thing that could have positioned the Shield solidly in the game for a few weeks.

If they'd been sincere about it and tried to target others with more connections in the house, instead of house outsiders Gary and Topaz who could have been pulled into a firmer alliance with them, the Shield might not be looking at getting split this week.

4. He Quit POV!

"Would you get mad if I killed you?" (The Canadians keep quoting this wrong, by the way.)

We won't know until Wednesday's episode exactly what happened, but for some reason Alec decided to give up in yesterday's Power of Veto competition, allowing Peter to land his first competitive win.

(I still can't get over that.)

To The Victor

His one shot was either winning POV or having Topaz pull him off the block - Peter's victory seals Alec's fate once and for all.

So why would he do it? Did he think that Peter needed the save more than he did? Did he do one of his quick calculations and realize that he couldn't win? Did he think he could get Talla or Andrew on the block and get them out instead?

Whatever the reason, I have a feeling Alec will look back on that moment as the one that finally sealed his fate.

***

Ready for the taking

The kicker to all of this is that Alec did have the tools to get to the end of the game, if he'd realized that Topaz was his best potential ally after Peter. I genuinely want to smack the guy for not realizing this earlier. 

One of the most valuable things you can have in the Big Brother house is a loyal ally, yet he's been tossing his left and right for people he would rather get along with. 

Unfortunately for Alec, he'll be spending most of the jury phase in the Jury House, with the people he already tossed.

***

Too late

One of two weird things is happening in the last few days with Alec and Topaz, by the way. 

He's looking at her longer, he's not recoiling from her kisses anymore, and he seems just as affectionate in private as in public. Either he's gotten much better at faking it with her - which is a distinct possibility - or she's finally broken through to him with her sweetly protective "turning the other cheek" act, and he's starting to fall for her a bit. 

My inner romantic would be satisfied if it's the latter - if Alec finally realizes how much he's screwed up with her, right as he loses the game. 

Unfortunately, because this is Alec, he's probably just getting better at faking it.