10 Things We're Not Talking About Re: The #BBCAN Finale

And one we maybe are.

1. The Side Show art for Part Two of the HOH competition:

She's Alive!

Long live that bottom caption.

Kind of amazing, no? There was also some weirdness with the shower curtain art on Part One, but it made no sense, so I won't bother capping it.

2. Gary's face on winning Part Two:

Hallelujah

I can hear the bells.

3. How in the final HOH round, Emmett kept waiting for Gary to answer before locking in his. Until it came down to the final question, I was ready to call shenanigans.

Hmmm

Not sure why Emmett waited so long on every round if he wasn't cheating. Maybe he was cheating, but then honestly thought he would beat Gary on that last question.

(Emmett, cheat? Never.)

4. Gary evicted Emmett.

You guys, Gary fucking evicted Emmett!

"Watch oot for the gay guy"

I can still hear the bells.

5. Alec and Gary both tearing up at Gary's answer to Alec's question:

Alec should have brought his sleep mask to the finale

6. Peter not having it with Jillian's answer to his question:

Watch check

Jillian? All he wanted was for you to own your game. Fail.

7. The final death throes of The Sheyld (sic):

1 of 2

2 of 2

Can't help it, those two guys still crack me up, even for all their failures. I'll stay a fan. Peter's got a different Twitter now than the one we all expected, by the way. Seems pretty verified, he was tweeting about being in the party van right before other official accounts started talking about the van. Then again, I already got taken in by a fake Gary account today when his mother retweeted it. So, take it all with a grain of salt for now.

8. Topaz's hilarious hissy fit over the vote reveal:

Someone call the ophthalmologist!

Also, did anyone notice who was onscreen half the time during that sequence?

Check the lower left corner - hi, Dan!

9. The internet's meltdown upon the vote reveal:

Jokerized

 10. But of course, what we're all talking about today, and will be for years, is:

Topaz'd

 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, in a nutshell, as tragic as it is, I think it's hilarious. Did Gary deserve to win? Absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, yes. Many have said that it "wasn't fair" for Gary to return at the Final Five, but Big Brother returns players all the time, and they almost always bounce out within a week or two, as soon as they can. The fact that Gary didn't is a huge testament to his game - making the right alliances, winning the final competitions, gaining the right trust and backstabbing just when he needed to.

And that's ignoring the fact that, as Alec has pointed out multiple times, Big Brother Canada has had a Big Brother UK influence from the start. Being a big character and beloved by the audience was going to be a part of the game, and all players should have understood that from the Suzette Power Shift onward. That was a part of the game Gary played brilliantly.

That said, is it the end of the world that Gary lost? Of course not. He'll do fine with the $20K he won, it gives him a sympathetic story to propel his public career, and really puts his "the money doesn't matter" talking point to the test.

I'm sure there was a moment inside where he wanted to do this:

But he didn't, at least not on camera. Instead, we got Beauty Pageant Runner-Up Face:

Mature, gamer Gary is taking the reigns, and immature, selfish Gary is going to have to take a backseat. Totally for the best, and now he's a shoo-in for Big Brother Canada All-Stars in a few years.

And Jillian can take her $100K and her milkman and get off our screens at last. Was she a good player? She was all right. I don't blame Alec and Peter for the "bitter jury" stuff - it seems like their contention, which is worth pointing out, was that Jillian was unnecessarily nasty, making deals she didn't need to make, breaking them when she didn't have to break them, and then refusing to admit what she'd done. If she'd been willing to admit it in the jury questioning, Peter might not have rolled his eyes and checked the time, but he clearly knew she wouldn't.

Jillian is a good player in the Rachel Reilly "Most HOH wins" kind of Big Brother game, but without Emmett, she wouldn't have gotten to the end, and without a disaster of a vote, she wouldn't have won.

Still, she won fair and square a little crooked, it's hard to dispute that.

So congrats, Jillian, for what it's worth. Ultimately, your strategy of sticking with Emmett turned out to be the thing that got you to the end.

I'd say drinks are on you for that first real-world date.

Exeunt